Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
