did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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