just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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