Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
