I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.