Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?