glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Two words: nipple clamps
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