Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
