Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
