I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
