I pooped in a mop bucket.
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck