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It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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