he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize