i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country