My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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