I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I would ride that face into the sunset
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
