I could have mohawked her pubes.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize