Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize