Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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