"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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