At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
