Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
