That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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