That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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