Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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