woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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