Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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