Yo dont text me then not text me
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
