So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize