Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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