that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
