Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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