Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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