Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
