Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize