Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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