Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...