69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
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I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
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The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?