im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
