Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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