I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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