Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
