spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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