i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just had sex on a roof
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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