I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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