So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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