if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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