the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
