i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
