I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
