Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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