the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
