Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
