I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
