Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
