Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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