Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
