Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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