U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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