fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
how does that bad decision feel?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
