Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
