Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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