So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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