The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
