At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
