some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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